If you find one.

My father use to always say to me. “If you find one friend in life your lucky.” I really didn’t understand it then but I do now.  Over the years I have had people in my life that I thought where friends only to find out later that they really meant me no good and they were only there to take from me.  As I was doing to them.

         As I’ve been working to change my life for the betterment of myself and my family.  There still is something missing real friendships. When I was young I had tight bonds with a few people that I would call friends. But over the years we grew apart.  Stopped communicating with one another. Or maybe it was just me.  It might have been the gangs or the drugs, Jealousy, Envy or that killer of all friendships Resentment. 

       However those close relationships are still needed to have a healthy life. I didn’t realize how much I would like to have those type of relationships in my life until an old friend decided to pick up the phone and facetime me the other day. I can truly say it made my day. The conversation we had felt good because this was someone that understood where I came from and the struggles that we both shared over the years. It was refreshing just to have a conversation and a very real one.

        As men we often hide are feelings and our needs. Often afraid to express them for fear of how they might be perceived. Especially black men. When I was young I used to watch my father and his partners. I would listen to the conversation that they would have and the truthfulness that they would enter the conversation with. They really didn’t spend a lot of time on things that weren’t real. They talked about things like family, children, jobs, money and keeping each other focused on handling there business.

         They didn’t believe in pulling punches with one another when it came to the truth. They reach out to one another for support. Maybe those friendships still exist. However because of the life I choose I never cultivated those solid meaningful relationships. But today I am grateful that I still have the opportunity to work on the relationships that I do have. To develop those real friendships. To my Friend that took the time to reach out. Thanks for opening the door.

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