Those of us that deal with mental illness often find ourselves lost and looking for answers. Those answers are usually right in front of us. Nevertheless, we find it hard to see sometimes. There is Typically a reason for this. It’s either Because most of us are either afraid or unwilling to deal with our past. Ashamed to be existing in the moment or deal with the life we have created for ourselves, as well as having no idea on how to move forward in the future. In a positive, productive way.
So today I was talking with my dad. He was giving me a seasoned approach to being successful in this life. We talked about money, property, family, friends and the ministry. But the conversation kept coming back to one thing. Put God first. Keep your integrity intact and continue to do the next right thing. And if you do that, ask God to guide your steps. Don’t get ahead of him. Line up with him and stay the course. God will open the door for you if you are patient and can hear his voice when he calls you. However, he said something to me that I had been speaking with my brother about earlier that morning, which was to tell the truth about how you feel and what you have been through, Good or bad. Because those things are all a part of you. They make you who you are. That person. The one nobody gets a chance to see. That one you have to learn to always be honest with. Him or Her. If you truly would like to have a taste of sanity and the ability to live a life you enjoy.
Being honest with yourself is the beginning not the end. God is willing to forgive us of our past indiscretions. If we will repent and turn back to him. However, you must learn to forgive yourself and self-forgiveness is probably the hardest part of this whole thing. That’s been my experience. But it’s something you can’t avoid. Let me also say this about this journey to understanding yourself. The struggle is real. don’t give up when it gets hard. be mindful of this as well. (You are bound to make mistakes along the way). Just do your best to learn from them. . Then once you’re able to get a grip on that honesty and forgiveness part. That means, not only be able to forgive yourself. It also means being able to show forgiveness for others as well. Once you’re able to do that, you will begin to see things in your life change, however be mindful. “EVERYONE AROUND YOU WILL NOT BE HAPPY WITH THE CHANGE.” And a lot of people that you thought would be there to support you will not be there. The truth of the matter is. They might wind up being the same people that want you to stay in the same place, doing the same things, so they can continue to treat you the same way.
Some of them might attempt to discourage you. Some may smile in your face and talk about you like a dog behind your back and that’s ok. Change is difficult for everyone. And if you find yourself in that position it might hurt at first but pray on it. Encourage yourself and keep moving. Also remember this, everyone that’s with you might not be meant to go on this journey with you. If you are honest with yourself. You will know who should and should not be there. Also do not be ashamed to ask for help, be it from a canceller, therapist, pastor or whoever you have in your life that you can confide in. also remember to pray, pray and pray some more then watch and listen for the response. (That’s that staying in Gods will thing). Let me also say this. Everybody you talk to doesn’t need to know everything about you. However, when you decide you are going to tell your story. “Tell the truth.”
I was walking away from the movie theater with my wife today and a thought happens to cross my mind. “What a beautiful day to be alive.”I found myself thinking about all the things I’ve been through in my life. All the pain and disappointment as well as all of the good time and blessings of a life lived. Not always good or bad. Not always right or wrong. Just a life lived. Then another thought hit me. How grateful I am to be alive to see this day. To still be in my right mind ( MOST OF THE TIME). To still be In Pretty good health and to still have my beautiful wife by my side. If it wasn’t for Gods grace and mercy, there would have never been a day so beautiful, like this one for me. Sometimes you just have to slow down and be present in the moment long enough. To truly see the beauty that shows its self in each and every moment. All you really need to do, is be willing to see it. What a beautiful day. What a beautiful day indeed. To God be the Glory.
I’m screaming, running, jumping looking for a way out. Trying to tell anyone who will listen the box has changed. I know how to think outside the box. I just don’t know how to get out of the box. My vision is getting worse by the day. My memory is slipping to a point I’m forgetting the things I need to do for my family. I’m having anxiety attacks almost daily and to top all that off I’m afraid of what’s happening. Everyone is beginning to see the actions rise from the fear. A sense of loosing control of the fees things in life that I cherish. Has anyone seen a doorknob a latter anything that can help me get out of this box. I’m sending up flairs,smoke signals everything I can think of but I guess no one can hear me from inside of this box. It’s been a minute since I heard back from my Heavenly Father I know he’s there but I can no longer see the light that he’s held on the path for me. Everyone around me continues to want me to do for them. Even I’m telling the something has changed and when I don’t do something they want me to do. The way they want me to do it. I get the you don’t love me. You don’t care about me. I poor everything I have into my home. I give all my time. So why can’t I get the same love they say I’m not giving them. I need a way out of this box. Why can’t I get someone to come into this space with me so I can communicate with them. Family is a strange thing to deal with. My dad says it all the time but now I understand what it means. Would they do it for me. Everyone has something to say about what’s going on with me. But no one’s willing to listen to the man in the box to get a better understanding standing. I have no more to give. My health is at stake. But I truly think everyone likes me in this box. Where they can look down on me. Use me as an excuse for their unhappiness. I just have one last thing to add. Has anyone taking a good hard look at the man in the box. He’s human. He’s flawed and he has feelings too. If you love me, hear my heart and know I love you. Things have changed and now I have to find a way out of this box.
It’s a really disheartening when you see all your progress disappear. All the hard work building back relationships with family and friends. God give me the strength I need to continue to do the next right thing. To continue to move forward and to help me to forgive myself. Help those close to me. To not give up. To keep me in there prayer and to understand. That this to shall pass. To God be the Glory.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don’t give up though the pace seems slow– You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up, When he might have captured the victor’s cup, And he learned too late when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out– The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far, So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit– It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.
In 2 Chronicles 15, we see that isreal’s culture deteriorated for a number of reasons. First , they had turned from seeking the one true God. Second, they no longer had teaching priests. The third missing ingredient in Israel was Gods law. When a culture has a false view of God built on bad information. God begins to remove the restraint of his law, and evil grows unbridled. Even sinners who respect God is removed from or marginalized in culture, then the standard for a society is gone and God becomes that nations worst enemy and nightmare. That’s what happened in Israel.
When the rule of Gods law is missing, chaos replaces community. You can not have order and structure in a society without God. Men become enslaved by the very freedom they seek. We have ungodly people in our culture who don’t want any divine standard to which they must be held accountable. But when God leaves a society, hope goes with him.
As long as you have God, you have hope. He’s the one thing you can count on. If God is still in the picture, and as long as his kingdom agenda is still on the table, it’s not over. Even if circumstances collapse, God will keep the culture in place. As long as God is front and center in a culture, life, family, or church, there’s hope. But when he is removed, his favor, protection, power, and peace are removed too.
Habakkuk was troubled by the evil he saw running rampant in Judah. He brought his honest concerns to God but was not prepared for Gods answer. God planned to use the cruel and violent Babylonians to punish Judah! Judah, even with all its sin, was far more righteous than Babylon. How could God support Babylon’s success while bringing destruction on Judah?
life is filled with such questions. We are familiar with injustice in our society; often the bad guys seem to win. Why does God allow it? Habakkuk’s prophecy assures us that no matter what we face in life, God never changes his personality or his promises of his word, even when the futures seems to hold nothing but pain. God is powerful enough to use even the bad things in our life to bring about his good will for us and his world.
This prophecy is unique because the prophet never took the role of God’s spokesman. Instead, Habakkuk recorded how God responded to his honest questions about life. God wants us to come to him with our questions and doubts. If we listen to Gods reply, we, like Habakkuk, can have our heart stirred to renewed trust and hope in God. Habakkuk realized that remembering past displays of God’s power would give him faith in God for future struggles. This is part of the value of sharing our stories of deliverance with others. As we remember what God has done for us in recovery, we and others will be strengthened for the conflicts yet to come.
Living a lie is miserable. We may know from personal experience the heavy burden of trying to hide a secret life. If we are avoiding God and withdrawing from people because we fear being found out we are living in needless agony.
Moses understood the price one must pay for trying to live a lie. He prayed, “We wither beneath your anger; we are overwhelmed by your fury. You spread out our sins –and you see them all. We live our lives beneath your wrath, ending our years with a grown” (Psalm 90:7-9). David showed us the other side. “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those who’s record the lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed my rebellion to the Lord,’and you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Therefore,let all the godly pray to you while there is still time, that theymay not drown in the floodwaters of judgment”(Psalm 32: 1-6).
Why should we live with the weight of dishonesty when relief is available to us? God already knows our secret sins anyway. Why continue to suffer needless agony when we can be set free.